Friday, March 27, 2009
And hope is dumb,
The world says 'go' !
The grave says 'come' !"
* "Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And departing, eave behind us
Foot prints on the sands of time!'
* "The more life becomes empty, the heavier it becomes to carry it!'
* " A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience!"
These be the whims of mortal will;
That works me well I call as Good
What harms and hurts me I hold as ill!'
* ' Do all the good you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.'
* ' Can we do good to the world? In an absolute sense, no; in a relative sense, yes'
Thursday, March 26, 2009
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.
The sardar simply said …
“I am on my way to see a distant relative.”
Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games
of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -
“Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!”
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station. He asks one man “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?Man Replies 12.30. “When will Punjab Express go from here”?Man Replies 10.30. “When will Deccan Queen go from here”?Man Replies 12.30. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks!”
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Husband: I will be mad.
Wife: Will you marry again?
Husband: A mad man can do anything!
Wife: Look at the man who is sitting at the corner table & having a drink. I ditched him
five years ago.
Husband: Such a long celebration!!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Valentine to My Wife
Accept, dear girl, this little token,
And if between the lines you seek,
You’ll find the love I’ve often spoken
The love my dying lips shall speak.
Our little ones are making merry
O’er am’rous ditties rhymed in jest,
But in these words (though awkward very)
The genuine article’s expressed.
You are as fair and sweet and tender,
Dear brown-eyed little sweetheart mine,
As when, a callow youth and slender,
I asked to be your Valentine.
What though these years of ours be fleeting?
What though the years of youth be flown?
I’ll mock old Tempus with repeating,
"I love my love and her alone!"
And when I fall before his reaping,
And when my stuttering speech is dumb,
Think not my love is dead or sleeping,
But that it waits for you to come.
So take, dear love, this little token,
And if there speaks in any line
The sentiment I’d fain have spoken,
Say, will you kiss your Valentine?
needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband having dinner in a restaurant with pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well, now... You didn't tell me you had a prescription".
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses Instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... ....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Monday, March 23, 2009
Patient: I can't bear it anymore. Doc, please do something!
Doctor: Take two days normal diet, then skip for oneday. Continue this for two months & you will lose 5 kgs.
The patient came after two months. She has lost 15 kgs.
Doctor: Its amazing. Idid'nt expect this much.
Patient: Yeah, I almost died on the third day by skipping though!!
A call girl came to a psychiatrist for some psychological problem. The doctor talked to her gently and
realiased what her problem was. He led her to a couch in the side room and had sex with her. After that,
they smiled at each other and said simultaneously: 100 $ please !!
Birth name Britney Jean Spears
Born December 2, 1981 (1981-12-02) (age 27)
McComb, Mississippi, United States
Origin Kentwood, Louisiana, United States
Occupation(s) Singer, dancer, songwriter, actress, author, pianist, director
Instrument(s) vocals, piano
Years active 1993-Present
Label(s) Sony (1997–1998)
Jive / Zomba
Associated acts The New Mickey Mouse Club
Website www.britneyspearBritney Jean Spears (born December 2, 1981) (more commonly known as Britney Spears) is
an American singer, dancer, and actress.
Raised in Kentwood, Louisiana, Spears first appeared on national television in 1992
as a contestant on the Star Search program, and went on to star in Disney Channel's television
series The New Mickey Mouse Club from 1993 to 1994. In 1997, Spears signed a recording
contract with Jive, releasing her debut album ...Baby One More Time in 1999
. The album established her as a pop icon and "bona fide pop phenomenon", credited for influencing
the revival of teen pop in the late 1990s] Spears released her sixth studio album Circus
on her 27th birthday in December 2008.
Spears is ranked as the eighth best-selling female recording artist in the United States with
32 million sold albums certified by the Recording Industry Association of America and
one of the world's best-selling music artists having sold an estimated 85 million records worldwide
Main article: Britney Spears discography
* 1999: ...Baby One More Time
* 2000: Oops!... I Did It Again
* 2001: Britney
* 2003: In the Zone
* 2007: Blackout
* 2008: Circus
* 2004: Greatest Hits: My Prerogative
* 2005: B in the Mix: The Remixes
* 1999: ...Baby One More Time Tour
* 2000: Crazy 2K Tour
* 2000: Oops!... I Did It Again World Tour
* 2001 – 2002: Dream Within a Dream Tour
* 2004: The Onyx Hotel Tour
* 2007: The M+M's Tour
* 2009: The Circus Starring: Britney Spears
Year Title Role Notes
1991 The Mickey Mouse Club Various Roles Seasons 6-7, 1991-1993
1999 The Famous Jett Jackson Herself She sang "...Baby One More Time" and "Sometimes" on the show.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch Herself Cameo (Sang (You Drive Me) Crazy on show)
2000 Longshot Flight Attendant Cameo
The Simpsons Herself Episode: "The Mansion Family"
2002 Austin Powers in Goldmember Herself Cameo/Soundtrack
Crossroads Lucy Wagner Lead Role/Feature Film
Robbie the Reindeer in Legend of the Lost Tribe Donner English version/Animation
2004 Britney & Kevin: Chaotic Herself Reality Show
2006 Will & Grace Amber-Louise Episode "Buy, Buy Baby"
2008 How I Met Your Mother Abby Season 3: "Ten Sessions" and "Everything Must Go"
Britney: For the Record Herself Biography/Documentary
Further information: List of Britney Spears's awards
Year Category Genre Recording Result
2000 Best New Artist General ...Baby One More Time Nominated
Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Pop "...Baby One More Time" Nominated
2001 Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Pop "Oops!... I Did It Again" Nominated
Best Pop Vocal Album Pop Oops!... I Did It Again Nominated
2003 Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Pop "Overprotected" Nominated
2005 Best Dance Recording Dance "Toxic" Wo
Spears also holds the title to multiple Guinness World Records.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
William Bradley "Brad" Pitt(born December 18, 1963) is an American actor and
film producer. He has been cited as one of the world's most attractive men and his
off-screen life is widely reported.Pitt has received two Academy Award
nominations and won one Golden Globe Award out of four nominations.
Pitt began his acting career in television guest spots, including a recurring role on
the CBS soap opera Dallas in 1987. He gained recognition as the cowboy hitchhiker
who seduces Geena Davis' character in 1991's Thelma & Louise. Pitt's first leading
role in a major film was in Interview with the Vampire (1994). He was cast opposite
Anthony Hopkins in the 1994 drama Legends of the Fall, which earned him his first
Golden Globe nomination. The following year came two contrasting, widely acclaimed
starring roles, in the crime thriller Seven (1995) and the science fiction Twelve Monkeys
(1995), in which he won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Pitt received
worldwide attention in the 1999 film Fight Club, for his role as Tyler Durden. Following
the success of Fight Club, he was cast as Rusty Ryan in the 2001 film Ocean's Eleven,
and its sequels Ocean's Twelve (2004) and Ocean's Thirteen (2007). He has had his
biggest commercial successes with Ocean's Eleven (2001), Spy Game (2001), Troy
(2004), the action-comedy Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005), and The Curious Case of Benjamin
Following a high profile relationship with actress Gwyneth Paltrow, and marriage to
Jennifer Aniston, as of 2009, Pitt lives with actress Angelina Jolie, in a relationship
that has attracted worldwide media attention He and Jolie have three adopted
children, Maddox, Zahara and Pax, as well as three biological children, Shiloh, Knox,
and Vivienne. Pitt owns a production company named Plan B. Since his relationship
with Jolie, he has become increasingly involved in social issues, both in the United States
her charge is 100 dollars. The agent aproached the actress, who said she had no
objection but he has to pay 100 dollars. That night, the agent came to her room and had
sex with her. After that, the actress slept. Sometimes later, someone awaken her and made
love. She slept after that as usual. Later in the night, someone again had sex with her. The
actress was really impressed and said:
" I did'nt know my agent has so much vitality".
A strange voice came in the darkness:
" I am not ur agent baby. He is outside the room
selling tickets !!!!!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A terribly overweight blonde goes to see her doctor for some help with dieting.“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.” Says the doc.When the blonde returns she shocks the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds!“That's amazing!” says the doc. “Did you follow my instructions?”The blonde nods, “I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to die on the third day.”“What from hunger?” asks the doc.“No.” says the Blonde. “From all that bloody skipping!”
The 33-year-old wore a Atelier Yves Saint Laurent by Stefano Pilati evening gown in grey degrade satin and embroidered black silk tulle, black satin evening sandal and embroidered black satin evening pochette. Kate accessorized with Chopard jewels.
Hugh Jackman is hosting the 2009 Oscars. Performers for the night also include: Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens and Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Husband: Honey, when I die, will you marry again?
Wife: I am afraid I will. You know how much I hate solitude.
Husband: Will you let him drive my car?
Wife: Well, I think so.
Husband: Will you let him sit in my favorite chair?
Husband: Will you let him have my gold watch?
Husband: Will you let him wear my nice suits?
Wife: No, he is shorter.
2) Love is allowing one' heart to rule over his head.
3) Love is not time's fool.
4) Love is an elusion, but it is also a solution to many a dispute.
5) Love means not having to say you're sorry!
6) Love is a four lettered word, the sweetest of the lot.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
On his image: "Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome." --at the Al Smith Dinner
slapped husband Brad Pitt. Brad said he was trying to comfort one of their nanny by rubbing
on her back. Angelina entered the room suddenly and taken aback. She was furious and
slapped Brad on face real hard. She also shouted at the top of her voice which awaken
their twins. Brad tried to calm the crying twins. After that, he stromed out of the room and
went for a motor-bike ride for four hours. It is said that argument continued for a while after
the incident. The couple was of course not available for comment!
How many did he start out with?
See answer here.
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ."
The man sighs and says, "It's started . . "
He is becoming no 1 over last two years. In 2007, Tare Zame Par was released under hisdirection.It was a favoulus as well as a sensitive movie. Then in 2008, he produced Jane Tu Ya Jane Na, starringImran Khan(Amir' nephew) & Genelia Desuza. This movie also was a delight to watch and a huge box office success. Finally Gajani released in dec' 2008. Though there is nothing extra ordinari in this movie like TJP and Jane Tu......, it was a huge box office success. It made business > 260 crores, which makes it the biggest hit in the history of bllywood. The key factor of the success was one and only Amir Khan, ho toiled hard for one & half years to build a eight pack abs.
What are the secrets of success of Amir?
* He is a perfectionist.
* He is very selective about a film.
* He gives n all out effort for any film including change in body & ambience.
He got an ace up his sleves( his upcoming film- Raj Kumar Hirani's Three Idots )
Surely we have plenty to see from Amir in future!
for Slumdog Millonare where he has done a favoulus work. But lot of people think that he has given better
music in many a films.
Here is ten best musical scores:
1) Roja- music for soul- Ye hasin wadia
foottapping music- Rukmini, rukmini
2)Bombey- music for soul- Tuhi re
foottapping music- Hamma, hamma
3)Dil Se- music for soul- Oh ajnabi
foottapping music- Chhaia, chhaia
4) Lagan- music for soul- Radha kaise na jale
5)Taal- music for soul- Yask bena keya
foottapping music- Mein ramta jogi
6) Yuba- music for soul- Kabhi neem neem
foottapping music- Fanna, fanna
7) Rang de Basanti- music for soul- Ruboru
foottaping music- Masti ke paathsala
8) Jane tu yah jane na- music for soul- Kabhi, kabhi
foottpping music- Pappu can't dance sala
9) Jodha Akbar- music for soul- Kaheno jason
foottapping music- Khaja mere
10) Delhi 6 - music for anything- Massa Kali
If you differ, please give your comment!
Sehwag scored his thunderous 100 in just 60 balls, powered by 13 fours & 4 sixes
against New Zealand last week, eclipsing Moh.Azharuddin's 62 ball century against
Kiwis at Boroda in 1988-89. His unbeaten 125-runs knock also helped India win
the first one-day series in New Zealand last Wednesday. Sehwag said that he was
happy to have scored his fastest century on Holi.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
We are looking forward to see Kylie!
Style is -being comfortable with what you wear.
5 items of Style for Men: Sunglasses, Jeans, well-fitted Shirts, Comfortable Shoes & nice earrings.
Favourite Accessories: Sunglasses & Wrist watches.
Casual Outfit: White T-shirt & Blue denim.
A Style tip: Try not to look stiff or uneasy. Your clothes should look cool on you.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Because it is the only profession where you can ask a woman to take off her cloth and ask her
husband to pay for it!
One sardar got a gun from his dad on his wedding day. Father said: if your wife is virgin, shoot it in the air. If she is not, shoot her. Sardar shot in the air on the first night and shot her wife on the second!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Here are some tips to rejuvenate your love life.
1) Better communication always helps. Give a call to your partner from your worklng place. Share a SMS or two.
2) Have one meal together. It may be breakfast or dinner as per your convenience.
3) Candle-lit dinner once in a month or two.
4) Go out for a movie / theatre/ marketing once in a while. Enjoy a cup of coffee after a walk.
5) Go for a long drive lf possible.
6) If long vacation is not possible,a short trip for 3-4 days san make you fresh.
7)Give him/her a surprise gift(a card/a rose/a pendent) on trivial occasions.
8) Never ever forget a birthday/anniversery, you w'll asking for trouble!
Last but not the least, A HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE IS A MUST!
BEST OF LUCK! !
Sunday, March 15, 2009
It is a fact that if you can't love yourself you cant love anyone else. Self-esteem is also a key ingredient for a healthy relationship. It is good to lean on your partner for reassurance but you, as an individual should be strong to support your relationship through any kind of crisis.
First of all for a relationship to exist, two people should like each other. And love of all relationships is not static one. If you are in love with each other and agree on what each of you think and behave then a relationship will not have too many problems. Encouraging words help in supporting and building trust and respect.
Spend Quality Time
These days the importance of things can be measured with the amount of time spent on it. It so happens that couples more time initially in a relationship. Later they get busier with other things in life. When this happens it is time for both to sit down and make a priority list. Spending less time together can cause couples to drift away.
Communication is the core of any relation ship, more so in the case of a love relationship. It is through communication that you can tell your partner what you are thinking, what you want. Talking can also make a relationship strong as there will also be intellectual bonding as well. It is also important to say things openly and honestly. Communication also includes listening to your partner patiently.
There is a famous saying about Shah rukh: In bolywood, only two items are sold: 1) Sex 2) Shahrukh. ( Probably said by Neha Dhupia ). Another time Sushmita Sen said: Shahrukh is so romantic that he can romance with a bamboo stick.
What makes Shahrukh so unique?
* he is not as goodlooking as Akshay.
* he is not as talented as Amir.
* he dosen't has bigshot fathers like Abhisekh/Sanjay Dutta
In spite of all these,what he has achieved over the years makes him very special. Strong self-belief and intense desire for success helped him to reach his destiny.
LONG LIVE SHAHRUKH !!
St. Patrick’s Festival:
The year 1995 proved to be quite conspicuous for the Irish people as it was the year when the government of Ireland established the St. Patrick’s Festival for the very first time. The principle aim of St. Patrick’s Day was to develop a common forum for the Irish mass to congregate and celebrate this annual international festival around their most important national holiday whereby they can display their talents and achievements on both national and world stages. This festival held in Dublin has parades, concerts, outdoor theatres and firework shows featuring as major attractions. It showcases the multifarious skills of Irish people belonging to different age and social background. The first St. Patrick’s Festival held on March 17th1996, spanning over a day and night attracted as many as 430,000 audiences. With time, this festival soon spilled over to a four-day giant scale celebration and by 2001 it was drawing as large a crowd as 1.2 million people. Previously 5 months’ preparation was enough for the final day of the festival but soon this festival took on a global flavor that resulted in 18 months of planning for the launch of Ireland’s biggest annual celebration.
First St. Patrick’s Day Parade:
St. Patrick’s Day Parade is also a phenomenal aspect of St. Patrick’s Day celebration. St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Dublin is part of this five day long St. Patrick’s Festival. Just as the first St. Patrick Day celebration was not witnessed in Ireland but in Boston, Massachusetts in 1737. The same applies for the parade too. St. Patrick’s Day parade was first held in New York City on 17th, March 1966 when Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through the city. The Irish music played during the parade not only helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots but also the fellow Irishmen serving in the English army to strengthen the bond with their native land. In 1845 when the Great Potato famine hit Ireland driving almost a million poor and uneducated, Catholic Irish people to pour into America to escape starvation, the American Protestant majority who despised them for their religious beliefs and funny accents, made it difficult for them to even find a menial job. When St. Patrick’s Day arrived and the Irish Americans took to the streets to celebrate their heritage, the newspapers portrayed them in cartoons as drunk, violent monkeys. Soon the Irish people realized that it’s time they exploited their political power to their own advantage. Thus St. Patrick’s Day Parade evolved into a show of strength for Irish Americans, as well as a must attend event for political candidates. In 1948, even President Truman attended the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, a proud moment for many Irish whose ancestors had to undergo severe strife against racial prejudice to find acceptance in America.
In fact presently numerous parades are held in various cities across different countries such as in Cleveland, Belfast, Manchester, Birmingham, London, Coatbridge, Montreal, Boston, Chicago, Kansas City, Savannah, Pittsburgh, Denver, Sacramento, Scranton and Toronto. Large parades also take place in other places throughout Europe and the Americas, as well as in Australia and Asia but surpassing them all in its grandeur is the renowned St. Patrick’s Day Parade held in New York City, with 2 million spectators watching the same. However, unlike the New York St. Patrick’s Day parade, which is coordinated by the Ancient Order of Hibernians, the Belfast parade is based on equality and the only flag to flown on that day is that of St. Patrick. This is a measure taken to ensure that it is not seen as a time, which is exclusively for Republicans and Nationalists so that people belonging to both the party of Unionists and Nationalists can celebrate the day. Thus Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, resulting in the increasing number of “Irish Aid” societies with each group holding annual parades featuring bagpipes and drums.
St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City:
St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City is globally renowned as the largest parade with huge crowd assembling at different points of the route to view the same. Earlier in New York City St. Patrick’s Day, marchers would form up at their parish churches or their organizations’ headquarters and march up to Old St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Americans would march in these parades as well as dance the Irish jig and sing Irish numbers. Today the Parade starts at 42nd Street and marchers travel north to 86th Street. Customarily the New York Archbishop would review the parade in front of St. Patrick with people marching up Fifth Avenue, led by members of the 165th Infantry. Sponsored by the Ancient Order of Hibernians more than 150,000 marchers, who belong to various Irish societies from New York and around the country, participate in this parade. The parade starts at 11a.m. at 42nd Street and makes its way up Fifth Avenue to 86th Street.
St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Pittsburgh:
The annual Pittsburgh St. Patrick’s Day Parade was held for the very first time on March 17th1869. It is considered to be the second largest parade in the country following that of New York. Pittsburgh St. Patrick’s Day Parade kicks-off a week long celebration of Irish-heritage events in and around Pittsburgh featuring artists, musicians and community groups. It is held each year on the Saturday before St. Patrick’s Day with the parade beginning downtown at 10a.m and ending at Commonwealth Place. This parade has 20 marching units, including bands, floats, emergency service agencies and many Pittsburgh Irish and other ethnic communities. The parade reaches its climax with the special appearance made by Pittsburgh’s Miss Irish Smiling Eyes and St. Patrick himself.
Thus, the parades prepare a platform for the ongoing round of celebration. Gleeful faces and heart filled with mirth is a common sight during this time of the year as all partake in this festivity, glorifying the name of Saint Patrick and his efforts to spread the words of God.